Wednesday, October 20, 2010

The Wit and Wisdom of the Bean: Volume 5

“There’s a toy in the waterhole!” (misquoting Toy Story)

"When we see Toy Story 3 at home, you need to skip the fire part because if I see it I will freak out!" (July)

“What if my tush had eyeballs? Then I’d be able to see when I was on the potty.”

“When I dream my eyeballs turn up inside my head to see my brain.”

“It’s cow flavored milk.” (after seeing a cow on a milk carton) (August)

“What a great day to be a person!” (August)

“Dad doesn’t know!  He’s the father not the mother.” (August)

“When I eat this lollipop there’s water in my mouth that takes the sweet off the lollipop and puts it in my mouth. You hear that sound? That’s the water rushing down. I have a whole factory in my mouth that helps me eat this.” (9/8/10)

"Mommy, thank you for making me not a girl. I don't want to be a girl, because I don't want my tummy to be ripped open and have a baby come out." (9/17/10)

Pretending to be a cop: "I will give you one warning and if you're speeding I'll give you…...  two warnings. " (9/19/2010)

Me: Why did the frog cross the road?
The Bean: What??
Me: Why did the frog cross the road?
The Bean: What frog?


Read past wisdom:
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4

10 comments:

SciFi Dad said...

I think his reasons for not wanting to be a girl make PERFECT sense to me.

(I love these posts, btw)

OneZenMom said...

These area adorable! I love the wit and wisdom of the bean. :)

My 3yo, btw, insists on having a cup of "cow milk" every evening. He's suspicious of any white stuff I pour him that doesn't have a cow on the package.

Your escalator operator said...

Simply brilliant. I like the dream and lollipop comments the best. Sounds like he's going to be a doctor. Or a really lenient cop.

Jody said...

The frog joke at the end made me laugh so hard it brought tears to my eyes. Every time I read these gems from you, I think -- *this* is why they are friends!!

Theresa said...

bwah ha ha hah! I think my favorite is the "What a great day to be a person!" I think I'm going to have to use that one from time to time

James (SeattleDad) said...

Awesome. Love these.

Esp Cow flavored milk. Growing up on a dairy, I can honestly say that wouldn't taste that great at all.

BloggerFather said...

“When I dream my eyeballs turn up inside my head to see my brain.”

Dude! Blew my mind!

DGB said...

SciFI...Thanks. I love these posts too.

Zen...Yeah, we have code names for just about anything. "We usin' code names!"

YEO...Best/worst cop ever.

Jody...It's the conviction in which he says these things that makes them so great.

Theresa...Only use it when it's truly a great day to be a person. Otherwise it loses all meaning.

James...Yeah, unlike that goat flavored milk I tried to feed him.

BloggerFather...Yeah man, trippy. I hope he didn't get into my medicine cabinet.

FilmFather said...

“Dad doesn’t know! He’s the father not the mother.” (August)

So true, Bean...so true.

DGB said...

Jay...It's hard to keep a straight face with him around.

FilmFather...He speaks the truth, don't he?