A Job Not Done

I tried to be a good husband and have everything taken care of around the house on the eve of my family’s return. All of the laundry had been done and the house was clean and in order. I knew that after spending 10 days being the sole caregiver of two rambunctious children (in South Jersey nonetheless), then spending 6 hours cooped up on a plane, that WonderWife’s™ grip on sanity would be tenuous at best. So the least I could do was to make her re-entry as smooth as possible. I had been given a shopping list of a few things we needed for Passover this week. While shopping I also realized we were out of a few staples in our fridge.

WonderWife™ and the kids returned, all looking pretty worse for the wear, but happy to be home. While the kids were napping, I took the opportunity to brag to her about my completing the shopping list.

“Did you buy milk?” she asked.

Proudly I said, “Yes. And eggs too.”

“How about any fresh fruit?”

I hung my head sheepishly.

“Or any other food? Is there anything in the house for the kids to eat this week?”

If it would have been possible to hang my head lower, I would have. “No,” I said. “But I bought eggs and milk!”

The next morning, WonderWife™ was making her shopping list while I ran around getting ready for work.

“Did you get a new bulb for the lamp above the kitchen table?” She called out to me.

The bulb was one of those oddly shaped halogen dealies not found where regular bulbs are sold, and the unfortunate answer was “no.” And here is where I made my colossal mistake:

“I didn’t have time,” I said.

WonderWife™ shook her head in stunned amazement. “You didn’t have time?” she said. “You didn’t have time between watching movies? Or calling the maids? Or playing poker?”

I realized that I said the wrong thing, but to use a poker term I was pot committed and had to stay firm. “I stand by my statement. I didn’t have time.”

The Bean, who was quietly playing with his trucks next to us suddenly perks up and whispers to WW™, “Daddy didn’t do his job, huh?”