Wit & Wisdom Combo-Pack: The Bean, Volume 9, Sprout Volume 4

Today is a special two-for-one offer, a collection of the ramblings of my kids.  Though not as prolific as they used to be, my kids can sure burst forth with nuggets of wisdom.  Here is a collection from the past year:

THE BEAN

(Watching TV)

Me:  She said that woman [they're talking about on the news] is a Republican.
The Bean:  Why did you call her a pelican? (2/12)

Anyone see that new cartoon with Mordecai and Rapey? (6/12)

Upon trying Indian Candy for the first time: It tastes like underwater ham! (5/12)

I wish every quarter was a dollar (6/12)

Muffins are fancier than cupcakes. (6/12)

Is this salad here to make the table look pretty or are we going to have to eat it? (6/12)

Me: What words do you know in Spanish?
The Bean: Agua.  Darth Vader.  (8/12)  ™

Grown ups get to do whatever they want...except for evil things. (10/12)

I saw birds practicing geometry because they were flying in a circle and a square. (11/12)

Do all the other crabs obey the King Crab? (12/12)

Me: Remember the stuff you get with arcade tickets doesn't last forever.

The Bean: Yeah, especially if you squeeze it.  (12/12)

SPROUT

Is it tomorrow today?  (1/12)

Let’s play America's Funniest Videos.  You tickle me until I fall off the bed!  (3/12)

If you see any bad guys let me know because I have a gun.  (2/12)

You might make me smile, but you can’t make me happy. (6/12)

Oh man, I rule this popsicle stick! (6/12)

Sprout: Daddy's job is to go to work ad make money for the family. 

WonderWife™: What's mommy's job?
Sprout: I don't know, be lazy? (9/12)

The Bean's Past Wisdom:
Volume 1
Volume 2
Volume 3
Volume 4
Volume 5
Volume 6
Holiday Edition
Valentine's Day Edition
Volume 7 
Volume 8

Sprout's Past Wisdom:
Volume 1
Volume 2 
Volume 3