Juvenile Guy Bonding

July was a cruel month for the Geek Boy family, resulting in me seeing the rest of the brood for literally three hours over the course of three weeks. At the end of it all, WonderWife™ needed some solitude and sanity and I desperately needed to reconnect with the kids. Thus the plans for a road trip were hatched. I loaded the kids into the ol’ Family Truckster* and we headed south to the San Diego Zoo.

It was a great whirlwind of a weekend that involved sightseeing, junk food, laughter, room service, swimming and inexplicably waking Daddy up at 5:45am. It was such a jam-packed outing that it took approximately 10 minutes into the drive home for both kids to pass out in the back seat.

The Bean began to stir 45 minutes later.

I was excited.  "Buddy…Buddy,” I whispered trying to roust him out of his groggy state.

“What?”

“Look.” I pointed to a sight just over the horizon. “Keep watching that as we get closer.”

He leaned forward as much as his seat belt would allow and squinted. In a few minutes he smiled and suppressed a quiet giggle.

“Should we wake Sprout to see?” he asked.

“No. Let her sleep. This one’s just for you.”

This is what he saw**:

*In real life, the Truckster may more closely resemble a well-worn Camry. 

**I am nothing if not predictable.

Guy Talk

The Bean was in the bathtub when I got home from work. He was really happy to see me and launched into details about camp. Having drunk several cups of coffee and water throughout the day, followed by a marathon of afternoon meetings and a long drive home, I was in desperate need of relief. I closed the door and told the kid of my intentions to pee.

“It’s okay, Daddy,” he said. “I’ll turn away.”

“You don’t have to. We’re both guys. It’s okay.”

 After the business at hand had begun the Bean said, “At camp after swimming today, my friends were talking about wieners.”

“Like with your guy friends?”

 “Yeah, they were making jokes about wieners and…” The Bean got a guilty look on his face and stopped talking.

“What’s wrong?”

"Mom said I’m not allowed to say ‘wiener’.”

 “Listen, when you’re with guys or your dad there are certain things you can say that you shouldn’t say in front of mom. It’s called guy talk. With me, ‘wiener’ is okay.“

The Bean soaked in that information before continuing to tell me the wiener jokes his friends made at camp.

I smiled realizing that this conversation is going to be very similar but very different when he’s 13.