Oh Goody!

This morsel from today's entertainment news:

Shia LaBeouf will not become the next Indiana Jones, George Lucas has told MTV News. Although Lucas has previously hinted that LaBeouf would take over the franchise, he reversed himself Wednesday, saying, "Indiana Jones is Indiana Jones. Harrison Ford is Indiana Jones. If it was Mutt Williams [the character LaBeouf plays in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull] it would be Mutt Williams and the Search for Elvis or something." Lucas did say that he's planning another Indiana Jones sequel and that Ford will star in it. What he's looking for now, he indicated is what Alfred Hitchcock used to refer to as a "McGuffin," an artifact to propel the story. "They are very hard to find," he said. "It's like archeology. It takes a huge amount of research to come up with something that will fit."

I think INDY 5 is a tough proposition. They will have to work really hard to reach the majestic heights of INDY 4. I for one will NOT be fooled this time around.

Also, MUTT WILLIAMS AND THE SEARCH FOR ELVIS sounds like a winner. Thanks for keeping the dream alive George.

The Inevitable Indy 4 Post (Spoilers Ahead)

When word came out that INDY 4 was finally going into production, I took a rather bitter attitude towards the whole thing. There was no way it was going to be any good. Too much time has passed and it didn’t seem like they were making it with the same sense of fun as the first three. The business of Hollywood movies has changed and unfortunately big, bloated over-developed blockbuster movies are the norm. I didn't think that INDY 4 would come out unscathed.

Then the first poster came out.

Then the trailer.

And by the time this weekend rolled around, they had managed to turn me around from a stand-offish cynic to a pure fanboy, drooling with excitement that Indiana Jones was coming back to the theaters. They did their job so well, that I was bubbling with anticipation for this weekend. But unfortunately, my first instincts about the movie proved to be correct.

There were some rollicking good times to be had--pure INDY fun in some spots (the jungle car chase was great). But there were also some groan-inducing moments (what was up with the “monkey boy” scene?) and a story that ultimately didn’t make a lot of sense. The CGI ants made me miss the real bugs they used in TEMPLE OF DOOM. I think that Grandpa George was trying to remake AMERICAN GRAFFITI as the 50s setting was less than eloquently forced down our throats in the first half. And poor Marian Ravenwood. There was a time when she was out there drinking Nazi’s under the table and verbally sparring with Indy, instead of clinging to his arm and smiling giddily every time he uses his whip or makes a joke. Separately, these are forgivable imperfections. But combined with the missteps made at the end of the movie, and it becomes a tough film to love.

Aliens. Why did it have to be aliens?

I get it that the sci-fi stuff fits into the 50s setting. But it would have been so much cooler if they hinted at the alien stuff instead of us seeing so much of it. If they had just pulled back a little bit. I might have been able to forgive the Tarzan scene if they hadn’t junked up the end with a freaking spaceship.

So here’s what INDY 4 tells us about the three key players involved:

Harrison Ford – While he’s become something of a quiet, cranky guy in public these days, he can sure turn on the charm when he needs to. I wish he did more movies like this.

Steven Spielberg – Almost every current action movie director needs to go back to film school and study how Spielberg shoots an action scene. There wasn’t a single jumpy, handheld moment in the entire film. I might not be able to explain to you the plot of the movie, but I can totally tell you what was going on in each action set-piece. Now if only he’d stop using David Koepp to write all of his movies.

George Lucas – I know that the alien stuff was his idea. Naming a character “Mutt” was probably also his too. This man must be stopped.

Friends have told me that I went in with my expectations too high. I think that it’s a shame to have to lower expectations when the movie in question is being helmed by one of the current masters of popcorn movies and the franchise is INDIANA JONES.

Sigh. Disappointed yet again.

A Candy Adventure

It’s almost May, which means it’s almost Indy Jones 4 time. It’s a thrill seeing Indy billboards all around town. And look what popped up in my local 7-11:
Ah, my beloved ‘Sev. You never let me down.

So what is the “Adventure Bar” besides a less than obvious movie tie in? The Snickers folks will tell you it’s “Rich chocolate. Crunchy nuts. And a cliffhanger kick of exotic spice and a hint of sweet coconut flavor.”

Um, okay.

Coconut seems like a good idea, but “exotic spice” is just general enough of a description to be scary. I’d rather you just come out and tell me it’s a chai flavored bar. This is why I’m not in the candy marketing business, I guess.

On to the candy…

As with Snickers Charged, there is not much different about this bar. The coconut flavor is slight and became less distinct with every bite. I struggled to find the “exotic spice” until the very last bite. You have to work really hard to detect it. I closed my eyes and concentrated real hard and got a slight hint of chai. If they hadn’t of promised “exotic spice”, I’m not sure I would have tasted anything at all.

If the coconut had been more prevalent, this might be a buy again. But I think I’ll pass up this Adventure.

One more month to Crystal Skull!

Oh George Lucas, You've Done It Again

I haven’t written much here about how my love affair with George Lucas dried up. Feelings turned sour somewhere between Episode II and III. Yeah, yeah yeah, I know that as a self-proclaimed geek, I should have reverence for the guy who created “Star Wars.” But when it comes to things George Lucas, there hasn’t been much to celebrate in a while.

In an article from USA Today, Lucas spoke about the new Indy movie.

"When you do a movie like this, a sequel that's very, very anticipated, people anticipate ultimately that it's going to be the Second Coming," Lucas says. "And it's not. It's just a movie. Just like the other movies. You probably have fond memories of the other movies. But if you went back and looked at them, they might not hold up the same way your memory holds up."

Um, George? I’ve watched the Indy movies a lot. They hold up. They’re freakin’ awesome. I’m pretty sure that when my kid is old enough to watch them, he’ll think they’re awesome too.

This statement comes from a guy who felt that the original “Star Wars” movies didn’t hold up to today’s demanding audiences. So what did he do? He “fixed” them. He made Greedo shoot first. He added truly horrible musical numbers. He inserted computer effects that felt out of place mixed into the original. In short, he did the truly unthinkable—he f’d up the original “Star Wars” movies.

The story continues…

Lucas says he learned his lesson about unrealistic expectations when he revived the Star Wars franchise in 1999. "When people approach the new (Indiana Jones), much like they did with Phantom Menace, they have a tendency to be a little harder on it," he says. "You're not going to get a lot of accolades doing a movie like this. All you can do is lose."

Again George, you need to take a long hard look in the mirror. People were hard on “Phantom Menace” because it sucked. The new movies sucked. Your controlling nature and ego got in the way and you made three crappy movies. The only reason why some people are soft on them is because they are called “Star Wars.”

I know I sound bitter, but really my anger stems from disappointment. George Lucas was a hero to us and now he's become more like Grandpa whose forgotten to take his medication. George Lucas is no longer one of us. He lives in a crystal palace with hundreds of millions of dollars and little connection to the real world. In all of his success, Lucas has let go of the childlike excitement that went into his movies in the first place.

I’m still way excited for Indy 4 this summer and the real reason is Spielberg. While not every movie he’s made has been great, Spielberg can still be an exciting filmmaker. If there’s any chance that Indy 4 is going to work it’s because of him.

The countdown to May 22nd continues.

Crystal Skull

Ooooh. Fanboys are abuzz this morning because the Indy 4 trailer hit the interwebs. The server at work was painfully slow, so I had to wait an excruciatingly long time for it to download. Friends were emailing me, “Did you see it? Did you see it?” No! Not yet. Stop taunting me!

Finally…

A few co-workers huddled around my desk and we watched it three times. There were goosebumps when Indy cracks his whip. Even in his mid 60s, Harrison Ford still looks like he could totally kick my ass. You could actually tell what was going on during the action scenes (are you taking notes Mr. Bay?). Even Shia looked like he belonged there.

The trailer did its job. I can’t wait! I can’t wait! I can’t wait!

It sure looks like Spielberg got it right. I’ll see you on line May 22nd.

Urge to geek out...rising.

I've been resisting wanting to get all geeky about Indy 4. But how can I not get excited looking at this poster?