Being Me

“So where are you going tonight?” WonderWife™ asked me as I shed my work attire and donned my customary jeans and t-shirt.

“To Don’s house,” I said.

“That’s unusual. What are you guys doing?”

“I don’t want to tell you.”

“There’s no way you're leaving the house without telling me what you’re up to,” she said with a smile.

I covered my mouth with my hand and mumbled, “Mgoingtoplayvidgames.”

“I’m sorry…what?”

I took a deep breath. This was inevitable. “I’m going over to play XBox. A group of guys are getting on line to play. It’s Halo Tuesday.”

She gave me her signature “you’re such a geek” reaction, which is to roll her eyes, sigh ever so slightly and internally question how she could have possibly ended up with a guy like me.

“Have fun being you,” she said to me as I kissed her and headed out the door.

1Up

I had grown tired of being the only one in house who played video games. I was sad at the layer of dust that was collecting on the second Wii remote. So I made a decision that it was time to broaden my son’s horizons and introduce him to the video game.

The Bean’s prior game experience has been limited mainly to driving simulators at Chuck E. Cheese’s. He didn’t really “play” those games as much as sat there turning the steering wheel. It didn’t seem to matter to him if I’d even put a token in the machine or not. Complicating maters is that as a rule, the Bean isn’t much for instruction. Try to tell the kid how to do something, even if it’s something he’s struggling with, and he’ll howl “noooo!” and quit. I knew that I would have to tread lightly if this plan was going to work.

I lured him in with the so-classic-it’s-almost-a-cliché, “Wanna see something cool?” The Bean watched intently as I set up the game. Until now, he had only known the TV as something that played a movie or a TV show and the idea that it had another function intrigued him.

We started with bowling—an easy game with a very high action to reward ratio. He liked it well enough and although there were a few close calls when he either came close to crashing into the TV or throwing the controller through the window behind him, he got fairly decent at it.

Next, I took it up a notch and brought out the balance board to get him skiing. The game, We Ski is a skiing simulator that gives the player free range of a replica of a 9 run mountain, complete with chairlifts, annoying music and announcements from the loudspeaker and other skiers who sometimes get in your way. I had nearly returned the game after growing bored with it the first night, but because of it’s ease I decided to keep it for exactly this occasion.

I set the kid up on the board, placed the controllers in his hand and ran him through the controls. I was amazed that he was listening intently to the instructions, but I figured that his appetite was whet from bowling and he was now properly motivated. In a matter of minutes, he was “skiing.”

It didn’t surprise me that he loved it, but it did surprise me how quickly it all clicked for him. He was pressing buttons and navigating menus. Catching air on jumps and slaloming through moguls. I sat on the couch behind him with a goofy grin, watching the surreal image of an avatar of my son being controlled by my son. It was like when you aim a video camera which is plugged into a TV at the screen.

It took less than a half-hour for him to be completely hooked, making the experiment a rousing success. Though we’re a long way away from playing Rock Band together, or even any of the Lego games, all journeys begin with a single step. And as a bonus, the Bean now talks about wanting to go skiing—for real. My evil plot to get him to love all of the things that I love to do, but WonderWife™ does not, is coming into fruition!

Just a Little Patience

For 15 minutes, I sat beside the Bean as he struggled to put on his socks. I listened to the constant refrain of, “I can’t do it!” while he made half-hearted attempts to slip them over his feet. Bouts of crying were punctuated with the inappropriate giggles of a boy who was obviously tired. It would have been so easy to intervene and put the socks on for him, but I stayed next to him nudging him back on track whenever he tried to procrastinate from the task at hand. Many times he wanted to give up, but with steadfast conviction I refused to let him. I knew that he could do it because, as I told him, “I’ve seen you do it before.”

Like every parent before and after me, I sometimes have no patience for my children. But there are other times when I find that I have the laser sharp focus to guide them through the minute tasks of life. It becomes a challenge to me that’s not unlike playing a video game. Though I love video games, I’m not very good at them so I’ve often found myself spending hours trying to get through a level—refusing to give up until I’ve gotten past it. The same patience and perseverance that allows me to tirelessly repeat a board in order to figure out the exact timing to land Mario on the platform also allows me to not grow frustrated as I watch my son learn how to do something like get dressed by himself. Getting that pixilated figure to stick the landing comes with a great sense of accomplishment. However, when the Bean achieves his goal, we both share in the success.

As the evening wore on and the Bean was still barefoot, I had a choice to make. I could end his frustration and whining by putting the socks on for him, or I could make him stick it out. It was the end of the day and I was tired and hungry, fantasizing about the tasty chicken dinner that was waiting for me in the next room. My choice was easy. There was a lesson to be taught here. If I let him give up on this simple thing, what's to stop him from giving up on the bigger things? It took some time, and a few tears, but the Bean was eventually successful. His face beamed with pride as he padded on his now sock-adorned feet down the hall and into his bedroom. As I finally bit into my meal, my face did too.

Rock On WonderWife™

Despite all of her feelings about the Wii, having mostly ignored the video game console that resides in our house and constantly mocked me for playing said game, WonderWife™ scored big points when she gave me Shaun White Snowboarding for Hanukkah.

She totally rocks.

Peripheral Madness

I don’t mean to sound like a cranky old man talking about how much better things were in the old days…but I miss how back in the day, you didn’t need to buy a new peripheral for every freakin’ video game that was released. It was a simpler time, when video game systems pretty much came with everything you needed right in the box.

Oh, sure here and there were robots and power pads, but those items were few and far between. Besides, the games that came with them were usually better sleep aids than a turkey sandwich washed down with Ambien. You weren’t missing out if you couldn’t cough up enough shekels.

This old timey way of thinking lasted from the Atari 2600 until just before Guitar Hero was released. Guitar Hero is both the single greatest and single worst thing to happen to video games since controllers went from two buttons to four. If you want to play this deliciously additive music simulator, you have to buy the special guitar peripheral. Oh, and if you prefer to play with somebody else, which will spare you the embarrassment of jumping around your living room by yourself while your neighbors laugh at you while spying through your front window (not that this has ever happened to me, mind you), you have to shell out another $50 for an extra guitar.

The success of Guitar Hero brought about Rock Band, which upped the ante by requiring not only a plastic guitar (or two), but a drum kit and microphone. The starter package for this one runs around $150. Extra guitar not included. Rock Band 2 was recently released.

It pains me to no end to say this, but the most flagrant peripheral abuse comes from Nintendo. It starts with the Wii controller, which consists of two parts. The fine folks at Nintendo are nice enough to pack one of each in the box, but if you even want to think about playing with another human, you need to buy another two pieces—each sold separately. Then there’s the Wii balance board, which aside from being harder to find than a dude who will openly admit to having seen MAMA MIA, is creating new avenues for game developers. As we speak, really cool games are being fashioned that will utilize the board in tantalizingly fun ways. So it's not a device that can easily ignored as a gimmicky way to trick people into thinking their getting in shape, when all they're really doing is playing a video game. And I can’t forget to mention the also impossible to find Mario Kart, which comes with the Wii Wheel.

But Nintendo isn’t stopping there. No sir. Coming this fall is a new Wii Sports game that is being sold with, you guessed it, another peripheral, which is supposed to improve the motion sensor in the Wii Remote. Since the motion control is the one thing that makes the Wii stand apart from all other video games, it’s unfathomable that they’re asking us to pony up another $50 (per remote) to fix something they should have gotten right in the first place.

But don’t put away that debit card before you consider this—later this year, Guitar Hero is unleashing a new version in order to compete with Rock Band. This new GH is going to be sold with…that’s right…a drum kid and microphone. Oh, and a new guitar so you won’t be able to play the game with the old guitars you already bought to play with the last Guitar Hero.

I didn’t know that I was going to be nickel and dimed when I chose to re-enter the video game world. But there’s no turning back now. I’m in. I’m hooked. I love the Wii. Guitar Hero rules. So I have a choice to make. I can try to ignore all of these peripherals and hope that they continue to make great games for the stuff the came in the box or I can take out a second mortgage on the house. Because not only are all of these extras expensive, I’m going to need more space to store them all.

We Fit

In the six months since I bought the Wii, I have been mocked—ruthlessly and relentlessly—by my wife, who apparently seemed to forget that she married a geekboy. She cannot suppress the urge to walk by, roll her eyes and mutter “geek” whenever I’m playing. I knew that WonderWife™ wasn’t into video games, but I never counted on her being one of the only people alive who is immune to the charms of the Wii.

I found this out the hard way. When I first set up the Wii, I asked her to play. After a few days of saying no, she finally relented and bowled exactly one frame before handing the Wii remote back to me, never to play again. She’s amazingly stubborn—which is one of the reasons why I love her—and flat out refuses to be a part of any video game revolution happening under her roof.

Until now.

I had not given the Wii Fit much thought until WW™ offhandedly mentioned to me that it piqued her interest. Yoga’s not my thing so, video game or not, the idea of virtual yoga wasn’t rocking my world. But in doing some research, I found out that Wii Fit has a skiing and snowboarding game, which looks like a big bouncy ball o’ fun. And if it gets WonderWife™ to play the Wii with me and help us get in shape…well, who am I to resist? WW™ gave me the opening, so I started to stoke the embers of her interest. I would point out that it has a hula-hoop game, which was reported to give the best cardio workout. I showed her videos of the Wii Fit in action and read her articles extolling the virtues of the new game. Finally she said, “You know, I think I want one.”

Ah sweet victory. Delicious vindication.

So now that the wife decided to come over to the dark side, all I had to do was buy one. But of course, stupid freaking Nintendo makes life difficult. Demand for the Wii Fit is very high and shelves are empty. So once again, Nintendo has teased me with a product that isn’t available anywhere. Once again, the hunt is on. But this time there is a ticking clock. A baby’s a comin’ so very soon I’m not going to have time to stake out the local Costco. And I very much doubt that the Bean is going to stand to be carted in and out of every Best Buy we pass as we drive to the park, just to appease Daddy’s obsessive need for a new toy.

So to sum it up…there will be no ski on Wii for me. (And WonderWife™, don’t forget she wants one too!)

By the way, I’m calling shenanigans on Nintendo’s claims that they’re not withholding product on purpose to drive up demand.

I feel like a kid in some kind of store...

It was long after work was over on a Friday night when the dammed red light on the Blackberry showed up. Unable to resist the lure of a new email, even though it would probably be work-related and cease my easing into the weekend, I read it anyway. The message was from a colleague who sympathized with my plight about the Wii. But with the communication came hope in the form of a forwarded news article that said a few national electronics chains were getting in small shipments of Wiis the week before Christmas.

The smell of opportunity was in the air, so the calls began. Saturday and Sunday yielded no leads. Monday was the same story. I didn’t have high hopes for Tuesday as the phone to Best Buy rang and rang. I almost hung up when a woman finally answered.

“I don’t suppose you have any Wiis in stock this morning, do you?” I sheepishly asked.
“Actually, we do. About 15 of them left.”
My heart began to race, but I need to play it cool. “How many people are in the store right now?”
“It’s pretty empty.” She said.

On a normal day, I was less than a 10 minute drive from the store. But it was raining and this is Los Angeles. An excruciating 20 minute journey later, I arrived. The lady was right. The store was nearly empty, save for a few people lined up at the sales counter. There they were, shining like a beacon on a dark night. I had done it. I scored a Wii before Christmas.

But there would be no video games for me. Not yet. I had to be patient and endure an entire work day and a soggy commute home. I felt a pang of guilt for watching the clock leading up to the Bean’s bed time. My wife knew exactly why I was so eager to volunteer to run him through his nighttime routine. Despite her scornful attitude, Jules was grateful because morning sickness was having its way with her. Soon, a bath was taken. Pajamas put on. Milk drank. Stories read. “Mary Had a Little Lamb” sung. The rest of the night was mine.

It was all worth it because the Wii is so much fun. I feel like a kid, itchy to be home and playing with it again.

- - - - - - - - - - -

It felt strange at first to tell everyone the big news last week. It’s been really hard to keep the secret this time. I’m learning that with a second pregnancy comes a greater sense of calm. It’s not as new and not as scary. I wasn’t as worried to get past the first trimester as I was with the Bean. The calm is nice.

I wish I could say the same for Jules, who’s having a much rougher go of it this time around. The first time around, morning sickness was on a schedule and it was punctual—arriving every few days, in the evening. This one has been more troublesome, though. It’s been unpredictable and a lot more present. It’s weakened her immune system, so she always seems to have symptoms of a cold. She’s been pretty miserable and I must standby, watching and knowing that there is very little that I can do. She’s also had to suffer in silence while we kept the news of the Sprout to ourselves. Now that we are out, at least she can wear her sea-bands in public and not have to make up excuses to cover up her nausea.

Ah pregnancy is such a beautiful thing.

No Wii For Mii

My desire for a Wii has been increasing exponentially since the Guitar Hero news. I finally stopped lying to myself and decided I needed one. So why didn’t I rush out and get it? I was in the “No Shopping Zone.” The NSZ lasts from November to February, when I am not permitted to buy myself anything, because inevitably I buy myself the very thing that Jules was planning on giving me as either a Hanukkah or birthday gift. And it’s been no secret that the thing I really want this year is a Wii. Anyone within earshot of me knows this. You reading this blog know this. So when I amazingly found Wiis in stock at Amazon last month, I did not buy one.

Jules has been as vocal about her not wanting me to get a Wii as I have been about getting one. Jules does not have the ability to tell white lies. And while I find this quality of hers rather adorable, it has ruined many a surprise. But that didn’t stop me from this line of thinking: Maybe Jules’ instance that I not buy a Wii is meant to keep me from buying one myself. Maybe the constant eye rolling at the mere mention of the console is all a charade. Maybe she’s finally learned how to lie.

I’ve been testing this pretty hard, even coming out and telling her that I was going to buy a Wii. And she hasn’t cracked. Which leads me to believe that despite my fantasies, she really isn't getting me one. Jules isn’t pretending, she really isn’t psyched about me getting one.

But all of this is moot because the Wii is one of this season’s hottest gifts and they are not available anywhere. Believe me, I’ve been looking. Let me clarify. You can get a Wii, but for hundreds of dollars more than they retail. Or they come bundled with needless accessories and crappy games that still cost more than the sum of their parts. And although I’m desperate for a Wii, I’m not stupid.

Because I cannot have one, it’s all I can think about. My obsessive-compulsive nature is taking over. I am making up errands which get me inside electronics stores just in case I happen to be there at the time a Wii shipment arrives. I have been trolling on line, looking for a reasonably priced console. Of course, with two weeks until Christmas, there are none to be found. So I am forced to wait.

I hate waiting.

It may not be until long after the holidays have faded away, but there will be a day when I go into a store and there in the video game section will be a Wii. And the next time I see one, I will not hesitate to buy it.

(That is unless Jules really did come through and is going to give me one for my birthday.)

Can You Shred on a Plastic Guitar and Still Remain Sane?

I have a problem. I can’t stop thinking about it. And the obsession is starting to take over my life. I recently got a taste of Guitar Hero. And I want more!!!

It started out innocently enough. There was a PS2 plugged into the massive TV on one of the floors in my building. A group was huddled around the screen and they asked if I wanted to play. “Sure,” I said out loud and than quietly to myself I added, “What’s the harm?”

Once we figured out the left handed configuration of the guitar, I was off an running, hitting power cords to “Heat of the Moment” (You know how I know you’re gay…?).

Dude.

This game freaking rules. It took about six seconds before I was hooked.

The problem was pretty much contained until last week during a fateful trip to Costco. Because in that big warehouse, nestled amongst the free sausage samples and industrial sized peanut butter was the newly released Guitar Hero III…for the Wii! Jules saw what was capturing my gaze and quickly ushered me out of the aisle. But it was too late. It had burned into my brain.

Now I have a problem.

I have an addictive personality, which is why I don’t currently have a video game system in my home. Video games and I were all well and good for a while, but since the last generation of game systems came out, the average play time of a game is between 15-20 hours. I don’t have even close to that kind of time. But I do have addictive tendencies. So it’s better for me not to have video games at my disposal.

Then they came out with the Wii, which I played for the first time earlier this summer. It’s pretty cool. And of course, I want one. But I have been able to stay strong and resist the urge to get one. That is until last week, when the one-two punch of a Wii and Guitar Hero for the Wii has weakened my resolve. (Let’s not forget the new Simpsons game too!)

Jules loves to remind me that this current obsession is just like the one I had with PSP, which after a solid month or two of playing sat dormant in my drawer collecting cobwebs.

“But this time will be different,” I tell her.

She gives me the same look that my parents gave my sister when she asked them for a dog.

The holiday season is here, so Wiis are hard to come by. That hasn’t stopped me from browsing on Ebay, thoughts of me shredding on GH running rampant in my head.