The Bacon Milkshake

Three different people sent me the same link on the same day. One of them asking, “would you even drink this?” Clicking it led me to this amazing discovery:

To most the idea of adding meat to a milkshake is horrifying. But for me the answer to my friend’s question was a resounding yes! I would totally drink a bacon milkshake.

I clicked around the internet, somewhat pained by my sheer predictability, and learned that the Jack in the Box Bacon Milkshake was a semi-secret menu item created as a part of their Marry Bacon promotion (a campaign that I can truly get behind). The milkshake is not being put on their menu and would only be available for a limited time in very limited quantities.

To a lot of people putting bacon in a milkshake is everything that’s wrong with American cuisine. They may be right, but I’m not about to stifle anyone’s culinary creativity because you never know where magic could emerge. When I was a kid I united root beer and chocolate milk and discovered that it was a sublime combination.  

On the drive home, I happened to pass a Jack in the Box. As if guided by some strange bacony force, my car seemed to pull over on it’s own. Before I knew it, I was shouting the words “bacon milkshake” at the drive thru speaker box.

Now the shake had been discovered and purchased.  So the big burning question remained: the heck was it? I won’t bury the lead by telling you it was really good.

By sight, there was no discernible way to tell that there was a magical ingredient in the shake. It looked like the standard Jack vanilla shake—complete with whipped cream and cherry on top. But the first sip betrayed the shake’s bacony secret. The initial flavor that came through was rich vanilla, immediately followed by the familiar smoky taste of bacon. The flavors harmonized really well and the balance between the shake and the bacon was perfect—smoky, rich, sweet and a touch salty. Thankfully, the consistency was that of a regular milkshake and there were no visible bits of bacon to be found.

On the ride home I drank half of the shake and had to summon every ounce of my willpower not to finish it before I could share the spoils with the rest of the family. WonderWife™ apparently had not seen my Facebook profile and had not yet heard of the concoction, so was confused when I thrust a fast food milkshake into her hands and said, “drink it.”

“Is that bacon?” WW™ delightedly asked before taking another sip. “It’s really…good.” She seemed surprised by her own reaction.

Passing the cup to the kids, the Bean announced that he liked the vanilla, but didn’t like the bacon. My little carnivore Sprout, who might even love bacon more than me, licked her lips and begged for another sip even after the cup was empty.

I gotta hand it to you Jack in the Box. You make one hell of a meat shake. A bacon milkshake is certainly nothing that should be consumed on a regular (or even semi-regular) basis. But it was a fun novelty treat for three out of the four of us.

Bacon Flavored Update

We interrupt this blog to bring you breaking news in the world of bacony goodness:

The mad scientists at Jones have apparently created a bacon soda. I repeat, bacon soda.  The people behind Bacon Salt have partnered with Jones on this one.  Jones Soda is infamous for their annual holiday soda assortment, featuring flavors that were never meant to be carbonated (such as broccoli souffle and turkey with gravy).

If I may editorialize for a moment...Being somewhat insane daring I once tried the Jones holiday sodas.  Once.  Never again.  So as excited as I am to find and try the bacon soda, I'm not optimistic that it'll be very good.  (Kind of like bacon vodka all over again.)

That said, if there are any sightings of bacon soda out there.  Please let me know.

The Bacon Truck

I couldn’t believe it took as long as it did for it to exist. You would have thought it was already here. But it wasn’t. Now with the food truck craze in full swing, some genius finally decided to create a bacon truck.

For the uninitiated let me elaborate, there is a fantastic gourmet food truck revolution currently happening that rivals any kind of movement the Tea Partiers could dream up. These specialized roach coaches (although that moniker really does them a great disservice) drive around cities, serving up high quality food. Many of them are concept driven, which is why in LA we have the Grilled Cheese Truck, the breakfast truck, ice cream sandwich truck, Korean BBQ taco truck, cheesesteaks… You get the idea.

Not only is the food from these trucks really good, but there is an extra element of fun in the experience due to the hunt. These are mobile restaurants, which means you have to work for your grub by catching them. The trucks drive around the city, posting their locations via Twitter. They don’t have a regular schedule, so they could pretty much be anywhere at any time. Since I don’t have the luxury of being able to chase down these trucks, my only bet to eat at them is if they orbit close to my home or office. Like the way that every once in a while you win in Vegas, I’ve been lucky a few times able to unexpectedly score some Korean tacos on my way home from work. 

A few days ago, I heard the most amazing news—a new truck, the bacon truck. It’s a brilliant idea and of course I was automatically intrigued. The truck, calling itself Lardon, hadn’t even officially opened yet. They were in their “soft open” phase and had only been making one stop a day to work out the kinks before their big launch. I decided to make it my mission to eat from the bacon truck.

The gods of pork were smiling on me because two days after hearing about the truck, I learned they would be close to my place of business. I jetted through the office halls and accosted a few colleagues that I knew might be interested in such an adventure. With my car loaded up, we took to the streets. Considering that I had talked others into spending their lunch hour tracking down a truck filled with bacon, I began worrying that it might not be there like some cruel practical joke.  But my fears were rapidly allayed because there was the truck sitting quietly around a corner with no line to stand in the way of us and our bacon. 

As promised, everything on the menu revolves around bacon—from the BLT to the desserts. They also serve breakfast all day. Unfortunately, they were out of the chicken wings coated in bacon hot sauce with a side of bacon bleu cheese dressing, so I settled on a French toast brioche sandwich with bacon crumbles and bourbon bacon syrup. My companions went for their fancy BLT and their simple, but awesome bacon, egg and cheese sandwich. But my favorite thing about their menu has to be the Bacone. It’s a paper cone filled with four strips of various kinds of bacon that change periodically. That day, they were serving peppered bacon, maple bacon and bacon from a wild boar (which was meat, a little gamey and totally delicious). I mentioned dessert right? Try a browning topped with Nutella and bacon. (Salty and sweet was great even before sliced bread.)

My co-workers and I all felt a bit sluggish that afternoon, but we agreed that it was worth it. The bacon truck is not a place you’d want to eat at every day. But I’m glad that the fates brought us together so that I, fan of bacony goodness, could be amongst their first customers. I’m totally going to hunt them down again to get my bac-on.*

*That’s right, I just wrote that. I’m not apologizing for it either.

The Bacon Flavored Band-Aid

Friday night poker game at my buddy’s house meant a lot of pizza, a lot of beer and hopefully leaving with a few extra bucks in my pocket. As I was helping to set things up, my friend tossed something on the table.

I wasn’t sure what the true function of a bacon flavored toothpick was, but it had the magic word “bacon” on the package so you know that I was interested.

Since there were 7 of us there, I broke into the pack and as the cards were shuffled up and dealt, we each tried one. Here’s what we had to say:

“Tastes like a campfire.”

“Yeah, I taste campfirelisciousness.”

“It’s smoky and I love it.”

“It’s like sucking on a mesquite chip.”

“It tastes like my nightmares.”

“It’s got a bacony taste…and a band-aid taste.”

“Really, can I have one now? It's the band-aid that sold me.”

Smoky Earthy Salty Porky*

A mischievous sparkle was in the eyes of my co-worker as she approached my office door.

“I was out at lunch today and I found you something,” she said with a big grin on her face. Then she reached into her bag and gave me this:

Yes even my colleagues know of my strange fascination with bacon-flavored products. But it's not that surprising in this case.  This friend is a fellow foodie and over the years we have shared many a conversation about the meals we've eaten and the food we've cooked.

Bacon truffle caramel popcorn seemed like a treat that needed to be shared, so after my friend inexplicably declined a taste I somehow managed to muster up enough will power to not open the bag until I could get it in front of WonderWife™.

Unlike some bacon products that revel in shock value rather than flavor, this bacon truffle caramel popcorn seemed well thought out. Each component was designed to work together.

The popcorn was entirely coated in a thick shell of rich, crunchy caramel. Buried beneath the browned sugar was bacon—real pieces of bacon that brought a smoky applewood flavor to the popcorn. (The bottom of the bag revealed a few sugar-coated pieces of bacon, which was a treat in and of itself.) The whole shebang was infused with truffle oil. It must be said that I am usually not a fan of fungus, but the truffles gave the confection an earthiness that cut the sweetness and added an unexpected depth of flavor.

It is not something that I could eat every day, but I would eat bacon truffle caramel popcorn again in a second…as long as I had somebody to share it with.


*This is the genius description of the popcorn found on the bag. 

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

My first year out of college, my birthday aligned with Super Bowl Sunday. I had just broken up with my girlfriend, so to ease the heartbreak I invited a few of my friends over for burgers and dogs. A good time was had by all, so the next year I invited a few more friends and made some different kinds of food. Super Bowl at my house soon became an annual tradition. It grew bigger and more elaborate, complicated by the fact that after year two, I declared that I would never serve the same menu twice.

The Super Bowl party is one of the things that WonderWife™ inherited when she hooked up with me. However, since she's a foodie like me, it’s only gotten better since she’s been the co-host. I love throwing this party and despite my tepid interest in sports, Super Bowl Sunday has become one of my favorite days of the year.  It's my de-facto birthday party.  

The planning of the party starts around Thanksgiving, when WW™ and I will start to brainstorm recipes. We toss out ideas to each other, forget those ideas and have to think of new ones. We eventually hone in on our choices mid-January.

We spend all weekend cooking. Come game time, WW™ and I are so busy in the kitchen that we barely even get to see any of the game...or the commercials. (I know there was a Simpsons Coke commercial this year, but I didn't see it.)

This year, we finished early and I did get to watch the 4th quarter. And I finally won a bet against my friend KK, who has taken my money for about 5 years in a row.

Even though I was asked to do so, I didn’t get a chance to take any pictures of the spread, but because some of you were curious, this is what WW™ and I cooked this year:

• Clam Dip – This is my friend Dimo’s favorite. It's clams, butter, onions, baked until bubbling and served with Ritz crackers. 

• Deconstructed Potato Skins - Bacon, cheddar cheese, sour cream and chives served on top of a potato chip

• Caramelized Onion Flat Bread - Caramelized onions, Gala apples, crème fraiche on pizza dough

• Korean BBQ Short Rib Hash - Boneless short rib marinated in Korean BBQ spices, potato, onion, peppers

• Pate a Choux - Light pastry profiteroles filled with either spinach artichoke or smoked salmon dip

• Potato Chip Frittata - Mini Frittatas filled with onion, leek and carrot topped with crumbled potato chips.

• Chix in a Blanket - Chicken and bacon baked inside pockets of dough.

• Dessert Won Tons – Fried won tons filled with combinations of banana, strawberry, semi-sweet chocolate, Nutella and toasted coconut.

(I told you we go all out.)

Before I go, can we have a giant shout out to WonderWife™?  I know that I go on about her a lot on this here blog, but seriously this woman is kick-ass, she totally went above and beyond with today's party.  Girl can roll out a flatbread like nobody's business.  Totally put me to shame.

Explaining My Absence (or All Wrapped Up in Puff Pastry and Bacon)

It's going to be a slow week on the blog because the Super Bowl is coming up.  Now I know that many of you are scratching your heads at the impossibility of that statement, cause when you think sports you automatically think Daddy Geek Boy.  However, WonderWife™ and I are in the midst of planning our annual Super Bowl extravaganza, which is actually my favorite day of the year.  It's where we invite over more friends than our house can hold and cook obscene amounts of food.  (Oh yes, there will be bacon.)  Not to mention drink, gamble and gawk at all of the commercials. 

If all goes well, I will try to post something new before the end of the week.  But if you don't hear from me, know that WonderWife™ and I are safe, but covered in puff pastry and flour, tirelessly working to uphold our reputations as foodies.

Bacon Coffee

One morning, I checked Twitter and found this:

(The link leads you here.)

It amuses and horrifies me that my unabashed love of bacon has inspired people to alert me when they find things like this.

Seriously, bacon coffee? I was simultaneously aghast and intrigued. I’ve learned the hard way that just because something can be made to taste like bacon doesn’t mean that it should. As much as I love coffee and as much as I love bacon, I have never once had a craving to combine them. But far be it for me to turn down trying a bacon-flavored product. So I clicked over to Boca Java’s website and bought a bag of their maple bacon flavored coffee. In 5-7 business days, it arrived.

“Oh, I don’t like the smell of that at all!” was WonderWife’s™ reaction immediately after I opened the bag. She has the olfactory senses of a championship bloodhound. She also has no sense of adventure.

Honestly, the beans did have a smell that reminded me a bit of the bacon vodka but that didn’t stop me from busting out the percolator. (Yes, I use an old school percolator to brew my coffee. It rocks!) When the java was done, I poured it into a mug and took a big whiff.

“It smells like coffee,” I told WW™.

“It smells offensive,” she said dismissively.

I can’t stand hot so it usually takes 20 minutes after my coffee is poured before it’s cool enough for me to drink. This meant that I would be sampling bacon coffee en route to work. Stuck in traffic, I figured it might be a good time to take a sip.

Know what? Bacon coffee isn’t bad. The Boca Java coffee is rich and has a bold flavor. It’s strong, but not over-roasted like they way it is at the coffee behemoth. However, the bacon taste isn’t very present. There is a hint of smokiness and a little bit of sweet at the back, but if you were to give me this coffee blind I’m not sure I would be able to tell you that it was bacon flavored.

At the end of the day the great bacon coffee experiment is kind of a wash. Boca Java’s coffee is really good and the bacon is subtle enough that I would order it again. But if you’re looking for a true bacon coffee experience, you’re better off frying up a few slices and dunking them into a cup o’ joe.

Of Wawa, Kakes and Cheeses of Bacon

I have the east coast in my blood and it's always good to go home, even if it means a total of over 10 hours of plane time with two small children and a wife who hates to fly. My wife, thankfully, is an east coaster as well. One of the pleasures of WonderWife's™ hometown are the many Wawa convenience stores sprinkled throughout.

I did not grow up with Wawas. My hometown had 7-11, as we do here in Southern California. While my love for the 'Sev is strong and unabated, I must confess that Wawa gives it a run for its money. It could be the made-to-order sandwich bar, where you can put together your masterpiece using a touch screen that has detailed options like "a little bit of mayo" or "extra oil". Perhaps it's the fresh baked Philly style pretzels sold at the register. But most definitely, it's the entire aisle dedicated to the greatest snack cakes in the history of junk food.

"Nobody bakes a cake as tasty as a..."

(If you can finish that line, than you know what I'm talking about.)

I was fortunate to grow up in a state that had access to the sugary goodness known as Tastykake. They are made in Philadelphia and are only sold in surrounding areas (though their reach keeps expanding). Tastykakes are one of the touches of home that I miss now that I live on the opposite coast. And at the Wawa, they have a whole bunch of them.

So imagine my surprise when I was perusing the Tastykake aisle of a Wawa, while the sandwich artisan behind the counter was preparing my Shorti, and I found this:

Not only is it a Tastykake, but it displayed two words that I love to see on any snack food, "limited edition."

Cheesecake Tastykake pie is exactly what you want it to be. It has a graham crust, thick enough not to get soggy and thin enough so that you don't get a mouth full of dry crust when you eat the pie. The filling has a rich, creamy texture and does a pretty good job of replicating an actual cheesecake. Good stuff indeed.

Speaking of good stuff, my mom-in-law (who in the past has provided me with experiments in bacony goodness) came through again this Thanksgiving by serving bacon cheese before the big meal.

It doesn't take a genius to figure out that bacon cheese is cheese with bacon in it. While I think the cheese itself was cheddar, it tasted more like deeply smoked gouda. It was really good on it's own, but it was downright excellent when placed upon a garlic cracker. I almost didn't have room for turkey.

But of course, I had room for turkey. Cause it was Thanksgiving. And I was on the east coast. My true home.

I Continue To Be Digusting

I love the gluttonous marathon of eating that comes along with Fair Day. The amount of food consumed by the attendees at a state our county fair is staggering. And I am right there with them, eating everything in my path.

In what's becoming an annual tradition (click here for 2007, here for 2008), here is a rundown of everything I ate at the fair this year:

Brownie
Beer
Deep Fried Bacon Cheeseburger
Deep Fried Frog Legs
Deep Fried Oreo
Garlic Parmesan Indian Fry Bread
Beer
Roasted corn
ChocolateCovered Bacon
Deep Fried Reeses Whipp
Beer
Pulled Pork Sammich
Curly Fries
Deep Fried Twinkie
Deep Fries Smores
Zucchini Weeni
Apple Fries

As you can see, there are number of favorites that repeat year after year. (I am a creature of habit.) Though I do like to try new things, which is why you'll see deep fried frog legs on the list this year. They had both a bland flavor and a rubbery texture of fish that's been overcooked. Don't expect them to show up again in the future.

Out of the new stuff the stand outs were the deep fried bacon cheeseburger. The patty itself contained the bacon and was then deep fried, giving it a crunchy outer layer. The added texture was a deliciously interesting addition to the burger eating experience.

Chocolate covered bacon was also highly memorable. The Bacon Bar didn't quite live up to my expectations, but this treat was bacon and chocolate the way I had been waiting for. A crispy piece of bacon was dipped in deep, dark chocolate and served chilled. The chocolate had a nice snap and the bacon had crunch. Sweet and salty. My only complaint was that some of the pieces chocolate to bacon ratio was tipped a little bit too much in the chocolate direction. But this is minor. Bacon covered chocolate is good stuff.

As my friends following me on Twitter learned, we decided against sampling the soy sauce ice cream. It's a decision I stand behind.

I'm now off to down a bottle of Pepto, turn on an episode of The Simpsons and curl up into a nice little food coma on the couch.

The Double Down

In what stands as a stark contrast to the recent unveiling of healthy food, the fine folks at Kentucky Fried Chicken have revealed a new creation that they called the Double Down. It’s got two slices of cheese and bacon between two fried chicken breasts that are used in place of bread.

It’s like they've been reading This Is Why You’re Fat for menu ideas.

As gluttonous as this sounds (and it is disgustingly gluttonous) it’s a lot better than the notorious KFC Famous Bowls, which piled ingredient upon ingredient in a bid to see if they could cram everything on the menu into one item, regardless of taste, texture or caloric content.

The Double Down is being test marketed in select locations around the Midwest, so sadly I cannot give you a full review. For now I can only dream about it, and ponder why we have an obesity crisis in this country.

Bacon Vodka

When I got home from work, there was a package waiting for me on the kitchen table. It was adorned with a sticker that said there was alcohol inside. Naturally, this piqued my attention.

Inside was a bottle of this:

This is a bottle of Bakon--bacon vodka. Yes that's right, bacon vodka.

I love bacon. But let’s face it, saying you love bacon is like saying you love chocolate. There aren’t a lot of people who are going to disagree with you. I also love vodka. It’s my booze of choice. It’s my parents’ booze of choice. This is most likely because of the Russian blood that flows through our veins. So what’s not to love about bacon infused vodka?

I knew there was only one person who would have sent this to me—my mother-in-law. She not only knows my obsessions, but she indulges them, much like her daughter. She’s quite a lady. (I’m not just saying that cause she reads my blog.)

Immediately after tucking in the Bean, I splashed some over ice into a cocktail shaker, shook liberally and poured it into a glass.

I took a sip.

A half hour later, WonderWife™ came home. I was in the other room, in my usual evening location—eating dinner in front of the TV.

WW’s™ voice called from the kitchen, “Did you try it?”

“Uh huh,” I said through a mouth full of food.

“Is this it in this glass?”

“Uh huh.”

“Uh, it smells terrible.”

“Uh huh.”

“Ew. It tastes horrible.”

“Uh huh.”

She was quiet for a moment.

“Ugh, the aftertaste!”

“Uh huh.”

So... I’ve got a nearly full bottle of bacon vodka, anyone have ideas about what I should do with it?

View From an Island, Part 2

Day 2: “Lighten up, Francis.”
The Bean dubbed the Black Sand Beach “Coffee Beach”, which to me was actually a better and more accurate name.

After trying all of last summer to get the Bean to swim, he finally spent an enthusiastic 20 minutes in the pool at our hotel. Huzzah! He was captivated by a water jet which was aimed upwards and sent a geyser of water over the stairs. When the jet shut itself off, I joked to the Bean, “Why did you break the pool, buddy?”

His eyes got really big when he looked at me. They started to water. “I didn’t break the pool!”

The rest of the morning I was inundated with comments like, “That was mean, Daddy, to say I broke the pool. I Did. Not. Break. The. Pool. That was a bad trick!”

We got the swimming down, next we need to work on his sense of humor.


Day 3: This is Why I’m Fat
This was breakfast - the Loco Moco


A hamburger patty topped with an egg, sitting on a bed of bacon fried rice, covered with gravy. I can't begin to tell you how good this was.

The Coffee Cakeon

Summer officially begins when my buddy opens up his backyard pool with an inaugural BBQ, complete with his delicious and potent Red Lemonade. This year on the comments section of the Evite, WonderWife™ wrote that she was going to be debuting a new, secret dessert.

“Do you want to know what it is?” She asked me a few nights before the event. Her eyes gleamed with the excitement and mischief of somebody who has trouble keeping secrets.

How could I resist? “Please!” I told her.

“Three words: bacon coffee cake.”

Somewhere, WW™ found this recipe and since she’s said that it seems like it’s my mission to put bacon in everything, she could not resist. It was also a foregone conclusion that the gang was going to be receptive to this unorthodox dessert.

Arriving at the party, WW™ placed the cake on the table, where it went undetected next to the brownies and cookies. The bacon coffee cake (or “coffee cakeon,” as it was later dubbed after a few Lemonades) looks deceptively like a regular budnt cake. The cake itself was suitably moist and had a strong vanilla flavor. But inside there’s a layer of brown sugar streusel with bits of bacon. The bacon flavor did not permeate the entire cake, but combined with the ribbon of streusel, the smoky, salty bacon mixed with the brown sugar and oats and accented the cake nicely.

The cake was a hit at the party. At the most tepid end of the spectrum, people appreciated the gimmick of bacon for dessert and thought the cake was tasty. On the other side there were a few folks like me who had more than a few slices. The only person that didn’t like it was a vegetarian (thankfully I warned him about the cake’s secret ingredient before he sampled it).

Bacon coffee cake isn’t something you’d serve every day. But if you’re looking for a great dessert that’s also a conversation piece, you can’t go wrong with bacon.


(Because I know you'll ask...here's the link. You're welcome.)

Things Learned During Super Bowl XLIII

• When you throw a party for 40 people and cook 7 different appetizers plus dessert, you’re not going to end up watching a lot of the game. In fact, you're going to spend the greater portion of your weekend prepping for the party. Thankfully, I am not a rabid football fan and I love to cook.

• Never make a bet with my friend K. She has an uncanny ability to always win. It doesn’t matter if she sets the bet or if I do, she always wins. Yet ever year, I am compelled to bet with her. I’m currently trying to wash the “sucker” that’s been printed on my forehead.

• If you serve something with bacon, you will make the crowd at your party very happy. In this case it was bacon crackers. (Leaving it up to your imagination what exactly those are.)
  

• If you serve something fried, you will make the crowd at your party very happy. In this case, won tons filled with chocolate.

• The Bean loves football, but admittedly doesn’t understand it.

• TRANSFORMERS 2 looks exactly like TRANSFORMERS 1, which means TRANSFORMERS 2 is probably going to suck just as much as TRANSFORMERS 1 but will inexplicably make just as much money. But come on, we knew this already. Way to go Micheal Bay!
  

• The GI JOE movie kind of reminds me of TRANSFORMERS, but in no way does it resemble anything I remember about GI Joe.
  

• It’s a good idea to have a 3D ad during the game, but it would have been great if I could have found the glasses anywhere! Guess I'm not watching "Chuck" tonight either.
  

• If you ever think about punching a koala in the face, that means it’s time for a new job. I bet this is especially true if you happen to be a zookeeper.

• If you’re going to be able to watch the last ten minutes of a football game, it’s a plus if those ten minutes are really close and really exciting. Even if you end up losing to K.

The Bacon Bar

I’m not sure exactly why, but recently bacon is popping up in places that bacon has never been before. Like a candy bar.

I had heard a lot about the now legendary Bacon Bar but had not yet had one. When I saw them for sale as an impulse item near the register at Whole Foods, I didn’t hesitate for a moment to buy one. I didn’t realize until much later that I had paid a whopping $7.50 for the thing. At the time it just didn’t matter.


Arriving at home, I unpacked the groceries and left the candy bar sitting on the counter. After putting the kids down for their naps, WW™ turns to me and says, “So you going to open that thing or what?”

There is a reason why I married this woman.

I’ve had many conversations with friends about this confection. Most people I know are immediately turned off by the idea. But salty and sweet is just about the best food combo known to man, so I was more than game to try it.

The first taste that hit was the dark chocolate. It took a few chews before I could get past the chocolate and find the other flavor, smoke. WW™ took a bite and immediately tasted the smoke. But for me, it was buried too far in the back. I kept eating, hoping for more bacon.

After finishing the bar, I must admit that I was a little disappointed. Maybe I was expecting too much from the Bacon Bar. I mean it was good, but I guess that I was hoping that the Bacon Bar would be more like a piece of bacon dunked in chocolate, like a chocolate covered pretzel. Instead, it was just a candy bar with a smattering of finely chopped pork product inside.

Don’t get me wrong the Bacon Bar was tasty. I’d eat it again in a heartbeat. The very idea that somebody made a candy bar with bacon in it makes me immensely happy. But at the end of the day, it wasn’t the transcendent salty/sweet experience that I was hoping for.

But maybe that wasn’t the point. Maybe just the idea in and of itself should be enough.

Bacon Up That Salt, Boy!

There has been a void of new products in my life lately, so I was happy for a number of reasons to learn about Bacon Salt. Yes, you read that right. Bacon Salt. According to legend, two guys won some money on “America’s Funniest Videos” and decided to use it to bring bacony goodness to the masses. (Ah “AFV”, you continue to bring joy to my life in delightfully unexpected ways.)

The package was waiting on my doorstep when I returned from my Thanksgiving travels. This morning, I decided to take it for a test drive. After careful consideration, I felt that scrambled egg whites would be a great showcase for the salt. I went with the “peppered” flavor cause what goes together better than bacon and eggs and salt and pepper?

Opening the can, my olfactory senses were hit with an artificial smoky smell that reminded me of Bac-Os. I thought it smelled good and turned to WonderWife™ for confirmation. She turned up her nose and respectfully declined to participate in any of the morning’s salt and bacon activities.

There is no actual bacon in Bacon Salt. Surprisingly, it’s Kosher, which is as confounding to me why they make turkeys out of tofu. The Bean overheard WW™ and I talking about this and sternly reminded us, “There’s no bacon in eggs!”

“There will be soon,” I said as a fired up the skillet.

I set my Bacon-Salted eggs, which had been tinted a slight orange due to their seasoning, on the kitchen table and took a taste. The first bite was glorious. The egg whites, normally bland and lifeless, took on the unmistakable spicy, smoky flavor of peppered bacon. Barely able to contain my joy, I took another bite.

The Bean noticed my pleasure and asked for a taste. Chewing voraciously, he turned to me and said, “That’s really good!”

“Oh, I know Buddy Boy. I know”

Sweet Fancy Moses Lookit This!

All I want for Thanksgiving is a Turducken. For years I've been dreaming of a November where meat comes stuffed in meat stuffed in other meat. A carnivore like me can't think of anything better. The problem is, nobody I spend Thanksgiving with is remotely interested in this delicacy.

Maybe they'll change their minds when they see what I've stumbled upon now. It's just too fantastic for words. I just need a moment. No...that's not a tear, some dust got into my eye.